32 Before 32

My biggest goal right now is to lose 115 pounds before my 30th birthday.  18.2 down, 96.8 to go and a year and a half to do it.  Piece of cake, right?

Tonight, while running on the treadmill, my mind began to wander.  115 pounds gone is a huge accomplishment, but there are so many more things I want to accomplish.  So, I've created...

My 32 Before 32 List

1. Reach goal weight and maintain it.
2. Run another half marathon

3. Run a full marathon

4. Complete an indoor and outdoor mini-triathlon

5. Attend a blogger conference/retreat

6. Get married (hint, HINT)

7. Finish my master's degree
8. Start working on my doctorate
9. Buy a house
10. Go to Europe

11. Get a dog

12. Play and sing at an open mic night
13. Wear a bikini... in public... without scaring small children
14. Run outside in a tank top and shorts... and look good doing it
15. "Re-learn" Spanish and be fluent again
16. Take dance lessons with Jake
17. Go indoor rock climbing
18. Go horseback riding

19. Buy and wear 4" heels

Source

20. Buy a DSLR camera
21. Knit a hat or socks (or just something other than a scarf or a dishcloth)
22. Work at a job that I love

23. Pay off my credit cards
24. Learn more about freelance writing

25. Spend a long weekend in Vegas

Source

26. Travel solo (sorry honey, I love you and our vacations but this is the "only child" in me!)
27. Water ski (... again)
28. Learn how to play golf (... again)
29. Start a monthly group with friends/couples (e.g., Euchre, wine tasting, etc)

30. Become an early riser (all the time)

31. Improve my self-confidence and self-esteem (a bit vague, but I'll know when I'm there)
32. Create a website (hopefully from this blog!)

Wow... I have a lot to do! Suddenly, 32 seems right around the corner! I guess this turned into a bucket list... 

What's on your bucket list?  

Florida Pictures

I keep forgetting to post these! My mom and I took a nice vacation to Marco Island from March 1st - 5th.  We take a mother/daughter trip every spring, and this was one of my favorites.  Here are some pictures from our trip!

Morning walk on the beach
(picture no. 34908234 of my feet)

I love getting up early on vacation!
Walking the beach at 6:34 a.m.

You know those times when you think you look good until
you see the picture?  Yeah, this was one of those times.
I look like a fly.  The glasses have to go.  

Love these sandals.  I was admiring my new pedicure as well 

And that's all!

Enjoy your Saturday!

A for Effort...

... or is it "E for Effort"?  I can never remember.

First things first though... I'm down 2 more pounds! I weighed in today at 239.6.  Peace out 240's! This makes a grand total of 19.8 pounds lost.  Ok, I have to admit, I would've liked to have lost 0.2 pounds to say I've lost an even 20, but I guess that's what next week is for.

I had a great afternoon shopping with my girlfriend, then came home and made a healthy and filling dinner.  How good does this salad look???

Romaine, Feta, Strawberries topped with
Trader Joe's Raspberry Vinaigrette. 

I also had salmon and whole wheat pasta but I was too hungry to take a picture of it first.  So, just envision that picture [here].  

After dinner, I was lounging around, avoiding housework at all costs.  I swore I was going to clean my apartment tonight, but I HATE CLEANING.

This is what happens when you stop eating fast food for every meal and you don't have a dishwasher...

This is what happens when... I don't know... this is just what happened...

Yes, that's my suitcase from Florida.

No, it's not unpacked.

Yes, I've been home for 11 days. 

Don't judge me. 

Not only was I avoiding cleaning because I despise it so much, but I really wanted to go to the gym.  Yes, I said it.  I really wanted to go to the gym.  So I exchanged the following texts with Jake:

Me: Baby, help me decide... should I go to the gym or clean my apt?

Jake: That's a tough call... I could help you clean tomorrow and or Sunday if that helps.  

How sweet is that?  I truly am so grateful for the support I have.  He knows how hard I have been working and is always willing to help any way he can.  I love you honey! 

Okay, enough mush and gush... 

So, it was decided.  I was going to the gym.  It was already about 7:45 p.m. but I knew the gym was open until 10:00 so I figured I'd have more than enough time.  So, I packed my bag and headed out.  I was about 12 blocks away from home when I realized I didn't have my tennis shoes.  Seriously?!?! I was not going to workout in my Crocs (yes, I rock a pair of Crocs).  So, I made a very illegal U-turn and headed back home.  Ran upstairs, got my shoes, ran back down, and I'm off... again.  By now it's 8:10 but that's okay - still more than enough time to get a good workout in.  

I got to the gym at 8:30, headed in and noticed a sign on the door.  Fridays, open until 9:00 p.m.  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!? I went through all of this to only have a half hour to workout?  I had planned on doing 30 minutes on the elliptical, 30 minutes on the bike, and 30 minutes of lifting.  Well, that wasn't going to work! But, I was already there so I dropped my stuff off in the locker room as quick as I could and hopped on an elliptical.  In total, I only ended up spending 22 minutes on the thing.  I guess 22 minutes is better than nothing? 

Now I'm home and getting ready to push up my sleeves and tackle Mt. Dirty Dish in the land of My Little Kitchen.  

Have a good night and a great weekend! 

Back on Track

Tuesday was tough, but I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and got right back on track.  One thing I've  learned from many many MANY attempts at slimming down is that one bad day can be just that.  One bad day.  Too often, I let them become bad weeks, months, and even years.  Not this time.  So, on Wednesday, I ate a healthy lunch...

Italian Turkey Meatballs with Whole Wheat Pasta
Recipe can be found at Skinny Taste

...I went to the gym... 

... and I didn't go here (which is located next door to my gym).

Also, I had a good reminder today of why I'm doing this.  I found out that the weight loss plan that I'm following is reimbursable from my health insurance if I have a letter of medical necessity from my physician.  So, I filled out most of the form and faxed it off for my physician's signature.  Here is my returned form... 

I wrote "Obesity", she added "morbid".  She also wrote, "Patient is morbidly obese and at great risk of comorbid conditions".  How scary is that?  When I think of someone who is morbidly obese or at "great risk", I think of the people that you see on TV... 600 pounds and bedridden.  I run, I lift weights, I don't take the elevators.  Yet, I am obese and at risk.  This hit home.  

I am proud to say I am no longer considered "morbidly obese" (my current BMI is 37.6 - she was taking information from a former visit).  Either way, when I read what she wrote, I realized if I don't do something about my weight now, there will be consequences.  Although this makes me sad, it actually motivates me.  Someday, I won't need a letter of medical necessity for a weight loss program.  Someday, I won't be morbidly obese or even obese.  Someday, I won't be at great risk of any conditions due to my weight. 

I'm back on track. 

Tuesdays Suck...

I did it again.  What is wrong with me??? Yesterday morning, the scale read 239.  I was really excited - that's definitely down and it's always fun to be in a new weight "decade".  I did well all day and came home planning on having a healthy, yet satisfying, dinner. 

I made a sandwich... then a salad... then another salad... then a No Pudge brownie... then I finished up the last 3 cinnamon twists... then crackers, turkey pepperoni, and laughing cow cheese... then a Weight Watchers ice cream bar... then a single serving bag of popcorn... then ANOTHER single serving bag of popcorn... then pumpkin pie in a mug (which was disgusting and I threw most away). 


Not quite this bad, but not far off either!


What the hell is the matter with me??? I got on the scale this morning and it was up to 239.5.  I'm heading to the gym after work for an hour of Zumba and 30 minutes of lifting.  I'll get a good run in tomorrow too.  Because I mostly binged on "diet food", I don't know that this was quite as bad as last Tuesday.  Hopefully, I can burn this off between tonight and tomorrow so I can still see a loss at my Friday weigh in. 

As I've said before, I know this is a process and old habits die hard, but seriously... this is just frustrating sometimes.  I'd like to figure out what starts these binges so maybe I can predict them (and prevent them) a little better.  Even if I can't prevent them, I'd like to figure out a few ways to stop them once I realize they've started. 

BUT... it's okay.  I'm back on track today.  Pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue on.  There's no doubt in my mind I can still do this.

A-Z About Me

I found this on Meals & Move and thought I would share.  Feel free to copy and paste to do your own survey! 

A is for age: 28 (and a half on Wednesday)

B is for breakfast today: Turkey bacon, egg, and cheese cups.  I made a pan on Saturday night so I'd have a quick grab and go breakfast all week.  They were good and easy to make:

Ingredients:
12 slices Turkey Bacon
3 cups Egg Beaters (I used the Garden Vegetable kind)
12 Tbsp Shredded Cheese (I used WW Mexican Cheese, but anything would work)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spray a muffin pan with nonstick spray.  Wrap a slice of turkey bacon around the sides of each muffin cup.  Pour 1/4 cup Egg Beaters into each muffin cup.  Bake for 20 minutes.  Top each muffin cup with 1 Tbsp of cheese and bake for another 5 minutes. 

C is for currently craving: What am I not craving??? It's taken a lot of restraint to not go on a crazy fast food freak-out lately.  Birthday cake (a corner piece) is also sounding delicious right now.  I have issues. 

D is for dinner tonight: Leftovers from Haute Dish.  Mom and Dad took Jake and I there on Saturday night.  Oh.For.Yum.

E is for favorite type of exercise: I think my favorite type would be the one where you're not intending to get exercise, but it just happens instead.  Like a walk around the lake with a girlfriend to catch up.  Or kayaking with Jake on Rainy Lake.  Currently, I'm starting to run and lift again though.  They're not my favorite, but the more I do them, the better I get, and the more I like them. 

F is for an irrational fear: Ha ha! Where do I start??? I guess bats (the animal) and fire are my two biggest fears.  Both stories are too long to tell here, but I'll share them someday.  My mother says the older I get, the more of a worrier I become.  I was convinced that our plane to and from Florida was going to crash, I was afraid we were going to fly out of the airboat and get eaten by an alligator, I'm usually afraid bridges are going to fall when I'm on them.  Like I said, I have issues.

G is for gross food: Not a huge fan of beets or cooked carrots, however I'll eat both.  Really, I am not a picky eater.

H is for hometown: Hmm... I guess I consider Maple Grove, MN my home town.  That being said, I was born in Littlefork, MN and have lived in:

• Crystal, MN
• Rockford, MN
• Monticello, MN
• Chicago, IL
• Maple Grove, MN
• St. Joseph, MN
• Norfolk, NE
• Waite Park, MN
• Plymouth, MN
• Minneapolis, MN

I is for something important: I'm going to go with happiness and acceptance.  I've spent a lot of my life wishing it was different from how it currently is.  I'm working very hard to be happy and accept life exactly how it is today.  There are things I want to change and I have lots of great plans for the future, but today I'm okay with how today is. 

And I wouldn't feel right without mentioning my boyfriend Jake.  He really is the best and he is more important to me than I could ever explain. 

AND my beautiful friends and my wonderful family.  What would I do without them??

J is for current favorite jam: For Christmas, I made orange marmalade for my dad.  I canned it and everything.  I never thought I liked it before, but it was really good. 

Now, I'm realizing this might actually mean favorite music.  In that case, I have always loved Eminem.  I love running to rap music so that is currently my favorite "jam". 

Orange Marmalade and Eminem - that's a good combo!

K is for kids: I have 2 furry kids, my cats Isabella Grace and Gabriella Rose.  Other than that, I get my kid fix from my 2 best girlfriends, Lacey and Nikki.  Lacey's son Austin is too cute and Nikki's daughter Ava is the most precious baby ever! I would love to have my own kids someday, but I think I'm going to have to wait a little bit longer. 

Isabella ("Bella")

Gabriella ("Gabby")

L is for current location: At the current moment, sitting at my desk at work.  Good thing my boss doesn't read my blog. 

M is for the most recent way you spent money: At the grocery store.  I never used to grocery shop and I hated it.  Most of my meals came from the hospital cafeteria (where I work), fast food, take out, or delivery.  Now, I rarely eat food from any of those places and instead enjoy making and eating my own food.  I spend a lot more at the grocery store, but save so much from not eating out all the time. 

N is for something you need: Better time management skills.  I've gotten better, but have a hard time making myself do the things I need to do before the things I want to do (e.g., working instead of blogging). 

O is for occupation: Residency Coordinator by day.  Graduate student by night. Feeling a little tired of both right now, but that's life!

P is for pet peeve: Bad drivers.  Good lord, there are a lot of you out there.  Please get out of my way.  Thanks. 

Q is for a quote: One of my favorite quotes has always been "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans" (from John Lennon).  I think this goes along with letter "I" for me as well. 

R is for random fact about you: I have four tattoos. 

S is for favorite healthy snack: French Onion Laughing Cow Cheese and celery sticks.  Peanut Butter Cheerios with a Tbsp of chocolate chips.  An apple and string cheese.   

T is for favorite treat: Dipping graham crackers into peanut butter and jelly mixed together in a bowl.  I have a hard time with portion control on this one, so I haven't done it in a while. 

U is for something that makes you unique: My name - I've never met another person with their name spelled like mine (I was named after my dad, Stephen), I have two middle names (Kay Ann), and my last name is Spanish because my great grandpa is from Mexico.

V is for favorite vegetable: Hmm... I want to say cherry tomatoes but that's technically a fruit.  Red potatoes?  Brocolli?  I like them all, I don't want to pick. 

W is for today’s workout: I've got my gym bag packed and am hoping class doesn't go too late tonight so I can hit the gym after.  If I do, I'll spend 30 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes lifting. 

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Hmm...definitely of my feet and ankles (I've had a couple stress fractures - old running injuries and a broke a couple toes in high school).  Maybe one of my wrist (it makes this weird popping clicking noise all the time and I think they x-rayed it).  I swear I've had more, but I can't remember what else. 

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Going to the Twin Cities Auto Show with Jake.  We both like cars (well, he loves cars) so it's always fun to go.  I, of course, sat in the Land Rover for 5 minutes.  That is SO my dream car. 

I also fell in love with a Jeep Wrangler Sahara Edition, but Jake said it "isn't me".  Whatever.  I thought it was cool.  I am going to be in the market for a new car sooner than later, and realistically I liked the new Jeep Liberty. 

Z is for your time zone: Central Standard Time!! (When I say this in my head, I sound like a rap MC - ha ha!)

Diary of a Binge

This is not an easy post for me, but definitely something I want to share... 


Last Tuesday started like any other day.  I had just gotten back from Florida on Monday night so there wasn’t much for groceries in my house.  I woke up pretty early so I had time to run to Caribou Coffee for breakfast before work.  Not sure what happened from there, but the day went something like this…

8:00 a.m. Caribou Coffee

Large Fat Free Sugar Free Vanilla Latte

DayBreak Egg White Turkey Bacon Sandwich

8:50 a.m. Hospital Cafeteria

2 pieces of French Toast

2 Sausage Patties

2 ounces of syrup

9:30 a.m. Office

Chocolate Covered Graham Cracker

2:00 p.m. Office

Healthy Choice Pasta Steamer

Lindt Truffle

2:30 p.m. Office

Lindt Truffle

5:30 p.m. Taco Bell

2 Volcano Tacos

2 Cheesy Gordita Crunches

6:00 – 8:00 p.m. Home

10 Savannah Smiles Girl Scout Cookies dipped in Fat Free Cool Whip

15 Wheat Thins with 2 Wedges of Laughing Cow Cheese

Peanut Butter Cheerios/Chocolate Chips/Honey Roasted Peanuts (LOTS of each)

I was so disgusted with myself.  I do not take the word “binge” lightly, but I know there are times when I struggle with binge eating.  I do this alone behind closed doors, so I think it’s empowering to put it out there and say, “Hey, I ate WAY too much on Tuesday”. 

Luckily, I treated Wednesday as a brand new day and only let this be one bad day.  I have to remind myself that I did not get to 260 pounds with normal eating habits.  The way I eat really has changed immensely over the last couple of months, but this is a process and not always a pleasurable one. 

What I most want people to know about slimming down is that it’s not always filled with sunshines and rainbows.  There are days that you wish never happened.  This was definitely one of them.  The most important thing is to not let a temporary slip turn into a permanent one. 


Have a great day!